Since our kids have grown into responsible adults and are no longer needing or wanting to be around us for longer than necessary, Lady Agag and I have been spending more of our time at the seaside, especially in the so-called shoulder seasons of May-June and September-October.
At the moment, we are half-way through what local meteorologists are calling “the best week of the year” weather-wise at the New Jersey shore. I cannot disagree. The temperature has been a very-tolerable-for-Irishmen eighty-ish and the humidity has been blessedly low every day so far and it is forecast to continue so. It’s a bit like Groundhog Day.
Of course, notwithstanding that I’m on vacation, I continue to get calls and email from home inspectors who are being tortured by their delusional and implacable clients. If it’s not some nitwit posting false and reputation damaging comments on yelp or Angie’s List about an inspector, it’s another nitwit wondering why the inspector did not test every electric outlet and switch in their 4,000 square foot home, discover mold behind the drywall or determine that the septic system was inadequately-sized. It’s a bit like Groundhog Day.
Fortunately, thanks to modern technology – laptops, cell phones, 4G LTE MyFi connections, the effulgent and cost-effective online legal database fastcase.com and its super user-friendly search interface, which allows me to do legal research remotely with a minimum of keystrokes – and a terrific office support staff, I can respond effectively and rapidly to these insults no matter where I happen to be. To borrow a favorite phrase from one of my friends, It’s a beautiful thing.
And now, after having squashed close to 400 claims aborning, I would be thoroughly astonished if any of the next 400 claims that I see would differ in any meaningful way from the first 400.
In fact, I’m becoming a bit jaded by it all. Today, an inspector whose client-pest I am about to squash asked me “What happens next?” It’s a fair and frequently asked question to which I always give the same response. One that has proven to be 97 % accurate:
“I’ll draft a letter and email it to you to see if I have the facts straight. Then, mutatis mutandis, I’ll send the letter.”
“And you will never hear from this person again.”
“That sounds like a plan”, he replied.
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